I had a choice.
To forgive or not to forgive.
I decided that I would like to forgive.
But then I could not forget.
During quiet moments thoughts of the incident hounded me.
Under-feelings of some hurt was gnawing at me.
This was not doing me any good towards my desire to heal my wounds.
I think I have not forgiven the person in reality, though I do care for the person dearly.
I decided to internalize to find answers within me and end this unsettled emotions and wish to get on.
Recently I stumbled upon this beautiful article on forgiveness that has helped me close this recent chapter of mine. I think (and hope..ha ha) that I have learnt to forgive completely and am able to get on with my life with inner peace.
I wish to share this beautiful write up on forgiveness that has helped me come to terms with my hurt.
I wish it will help those who have gone through some deep hurt too.
Here it is:
Forgiveness....What's It For?
"In this life. . . we are unable to forget whatever remains unforgiven. So, if we won't let go of some pain - whose time has now past - then who is to blame for the weight of this burden still being carried on our back?"
Forgiveness is a creative act that changes us from prisoners of the past to liberated people at peace with our memories. It is not forgetfulness, but it involves accepting the promise that the future can be more than dwelling on memories of past injury.
There is no future in the past. You can never live in the present and create a new and exciting future for yourself and your love partner if you always stay stuck in the past.
It is truly impossible to start new and to make clear, healthy, life giving choices until we have let go of past hurts, confusion and resentments. Old wounds have a drawing power and pull our attention to them over and over, taking energy and hope from us, preventing us from starting again. Old wounds raise fearful spectres of the same thing happening again in the future. For this reason it is so important to spend time understanding the true nature of forgiveness, and what it really entails.
To forgive means to "give up", to let go.
It also means to restore oneself to basic goodness and health. When we forgive, we are willing to give up resentment, revenge and obsession. We are willing to restore faith not only in ourselves, but in life itself. The inability or unwillingness to do this, causes harm in the one who is holding onto the anger.
"The only upside of anger is the person you become. Hopefully someone that wakes up one day and realizes they are not afraid of the journey. Someone that knows that the truth, is at best, a partially told story. That anger, like growth, comes in spurts and sits and in it's wake leaves a new chance of acceptance and the promise of calm."
From the movie, "The Upside of Anger" starring
Kevin Coster and Joan Allen
If you are at war with others you cannot be at peace with yourself.
You CAN let go. . . and forgive! It takes no strength to let go. . . only courage. Life either expands or contracts in direct proportion to your courage to forgive. Your choice to forgive or not to forgive either moves you closer to what you desire or further away from it. There is no middle ground. Change is constant.
Want peace of mind? Forgive.
The same energy you use to hold on (to not forgive), is the same energy you need to create a new and exciting relationship TOGETHER; a relationship anchored in unconditional love.
Forgiveness is the most important single process that brings peace to our soul and harmony to our life.
However, living from resentment takes so much effort. All the toxic feelings of hatred and resentment stay bottled up inside with the result that we become bitter, angry, unhappy and frustrated. And so, living from forgiveness becomes a necessity. Not that this is easy; it isn't. But we cannot keep ourselves in the flow of good if we hold another in unforgiveness.
Forgiveness helps you move forward. No one benefits from forgiveness more than the one who forgives!
Give yourself the gift of forgiveness. The very word forgiveness is built on the root word give. Forgiveness releases your partner from your criticism and also releases you from being imprisoned by your own negative judgments.
Forgiveness is the key to your own happiness. Forgiving someone else takes moral courage. Forgiveness means choosing to let go, move on, and favor the positive. It ends the illusion of separation, and the power of forgiveness can change misery into happiness in an instant.
There are some dynamic sayings that I hold on to now:
The only way to freedom and happiness is forgiveness
Forgiving is allowing another person to be human for faults, mistakes, or misdeeds. Forgetting is putting these behind you; they are no longer brought up and no longer remain a barrier to your relationship
You know you have forgiven someone when he or she has harmless passage through your mind.
On this note I would like to wish all of my lovely and loyal friends here:
SELAMAT HARI RAYA AIDIL FITRI
MAAF ZAHIR BATIN